To be your best – know your worst.

A wrestler in a circus offered $5,000 to anyone who would go into the ring with him for 30 seconds and manage not to scream.  If they screamed they lost $100.  One day a very flexible guy, a contortionist by profession,  decided to accept the challenge.  In 15 seconds the contortionist screamed out in pain.  He came back to his friends embarrassed:  "He had me bent into knots, but I didn't feel a thing.  So I'm thinking, I'm gonna beat him at his own game.  I see his butt right in front of my face and take a big bite... only it was my own."

....after all – life is a terminal sexually transmitted condition..... which is probably resolved by death... but then again... who knows....

A member of a congregation went to a Rabbi with a problem:
–"Rebe, my son converted to Christianity. What shall I do?"
–"Funny you should say so," replied the Rabbi "but my son also converted to Christianity."
–"What shall we do?"
–"Lets go to God."
They turned to God and told Him their story.
–"Funny you should say so!" replied God, "but my Son...."

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